Dr. Fred Luskin: Nine Steps to Forgiveness.

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1. Know exactly how you feel about what happened and be able to articulate what about the situation is not OK. Then, tell a couple of trusted people about your experience.

2. Make a commitment to yourself to feel better. Forgiveness is for you and no one else.

3. Forgiveness does not necessarily mean reconciling with the person who upset you or condoning the action. In forgiveness you seek the peace and understanding that come from blaming people less after they offend you and taking those offenses less personally.

4. Get the right perspective on what is happening. Recognize that your primary distress is coming from the hurt feelings, thoughts, and physical upset you are suffering now, not from what offended you or hurt you.

5. At the moment you feel upset, practice stress management to soothe your body’s fight or flight response.

6. Give up expecting things from your life or from other people that they do not choose to give you. Remind yourself that you can hope for health, love, friendship, and prosperity, and work hard to get them. However, these are “unenforceable rules:” You will suffer when you demand that these things occur, since you do not have the power to make them happen.

7. Put your energy into looking for another way to get your positive goals met than through the experience that has hurt you.

8. Remember that a life well lived is your best revenge. Instead of focusing on your wounded feelings, and thereby giving power over you to the person who caused you pain, learn to look for the love, beauty, and kindness around you. Put more energy into appreciating what you have rather than attending to what you do not have.

9. Amend the way you look at your past so you remind yourself of your heroic choice to forgive.

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Journal Articles
Can Christian Divorce Support Groups Influence Forgiveness and Health Outcomes in Black Divorcees: A Phenomenological Investigation. Saunders, M., Curtis, D., Alexander, A., & Williams, E. (2013). Journal of Divorce & Remarriage, 54 (7). 550-575.

CDC's African American Health Report 2017. Retrieved from

Endless Grace: The Story of Forgiveness. Retrieved from

Global Forgiveness Initiative. Retrieved from:

International Forgiveness Institute. Retrieved from:

International Forgiveness Day. Retrieved from:

Heartland Forgiveness Scale. Retrieved from

Transgression Related Interpersonal Motivation Inventory

The Power of Forgiveness. Retrieved from:

A Campaign for Forgiveness Research. Retrieved from:

What Forgiveness Means: Retrieved from:

Worldwide Forgiveness Alliance. Retrieved from:

REACH Forgiveness Resources

How racism makes us sick. Dr. David Williams. Retrieved from:

Girlhood Interrupted: The Erasure of Black Girls’ Childhood. Retrieved from:

New Psychology Study finds Adverse Childhood Experiences Transfer from One Generation to the Next. Heath McCoy. Retrieved from:


Media & Public R​elations

  Blog Radio Interview on Forgiveness

What is Etiquette Anyway: The Issue of Forgiveness?

  Radio Interview on LA Talk Show with Mother Love - 11/7/14

  Voyage Atlanta Interview: Meet Dr. Magon Saunders, Forgive for Health Ministries

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